Darren Shan: The Wacko's World
by Sheriff of Nottingham
Summary: Some funny stuff that hasn't anything to do with book 12.


**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing to do with Darren Shan except copies of the books.**

**Author's Note: This was all just for laughs. This is just some random foolishness that has a bit of a plot. Set after book 11 but has nothing to do with book 12.**

**Darren Shan: The Wacko's World**

**Darren: **So you can bring Mr. Crepsley back?

**Mr. Tiny:**Maybe.

**Darren:**And Mr. Tall?

**Mr. Tiny:**Maybe.

**Darren:**And Gavner?

**Mr. Tiny:****/eating/ **May pee.

**Darren:**Really?

**Mr. Tiny:**Yeah **/Turns around and pee's in the bush/ **I had WAY too much to drink before I came.

**Darren:**Yeah, whatever. Can you bring them back? And stop me being Lord of the Shadows?

**Mr. Tiny:**I can bring your friends back for a price. As for you and Steve... we'll see.

**Darren:**What's your price?

**Mr. Tiny:**The Stone of Blood **/evil grin/**

**Darren:**Okay.

**Mr. Tiny:****/Looks shocked/**

**Darren:**What? That's what you asked.

**Mr. Tiny:**Didn't think you'd give it.

**Darren:**???

**Mr. Tiny:****/Clicks fingers/**

**/Larten Crepsley appears/**

**/Clicks fingers/**

**/Gavner Purl appears/**

**/Clicks fingers/**

**/Mr. Tall appears/**

**Darren:**Larten, Mr. Tall, Gavner.

**All three:**Hi Darren.

**Mr. Crepsley:**How am I not dead? And why the hell is Steve still alive you twit?

**Darren:**You told me not to let revenge consume me.

**Mr. Crepsley:**That was when I thought I had killed the Vampanize Lord. Anyway, somebody sent me a card while I was dead. Can you read it for me?

**Darren:**Sure. **/Takes card/ **"Larten, you rock my world. Too bad you died. You were a sexy minx. Sorry about the scar, Evanna." Oh Charna's Guts, I'm scared for life.

**Mr. Crepsley:**It was Evanna? Damn. There's me thinking somebody fancied me.

**Gavner:**Fat chance!!!

**Mr. Tall:**Well? How are we alive?

**Gavner:**When did you die?

**Mr. Tall:**Not long back, a few months ago. **/looks at Darren/**

**Darren:**Oh, yeah. I swapped Mr. Tiny your lives for the Stone of Blood.

_Later that day Gavner and Darren could be found swinging Mr. Tall Like a skipping rope._

_And Mr. Crepsley was skipping over him._

**Gavner:**Three little vampire's sittin' in a cave. How many people do they save?

**Mr. Crepsley:****/Skipping/ **1,2,3,4,5... 41,42,43... 89,90,91... 109,110,111... 299,300,301... 877,878,679... 2009,2010,2011,2012... 3555,3556,3557,3558... 9991,9992,9993... 98724,98725,98726... 492683, 492684,492685... 99926815,99926816...1092352474.

**Mr. Tall:****/Snap's in half/**

**Gavner:**Well at least I know he's dead this time.

**Darren:**Damn. I thought he'd stayed alive the longest.

_Darren, Mr. Crepsley and Gavner are walking past a bottomless_

_pit for some no reason at all._

**Gavner:/Trips and falls in the bottomless pit/** Didn'tSeeTheHoooooooooooooooooooooooole!!!

**Darren:**I hope you're not next Mr. Crepsley.

**Mr. Crepsley:****/Skipping along a yellow brick road in a pink tu tu/** There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place like home!

_Darren and Mr. Crepsley appear in Mr. Crepsley's home town._

**Murlough:/Jumps out with a knife/**

**R.V.:/Jumps out with new hook hands/**

**R.V. and Murlough:/Kill each other accidentally/**

**Mr. Crepsley:/Is asleep. Is mistaken for a corpse and chopped up by cannibals/**

**Darren:**Shite. This sucks!... hehehe 'sucks'...

**Mr. Tiny:/Appears/** I can grant you three wishes.

**Darren:**Really?

**Mr. Tiny:**Yeah. But I won't! Ha!

**Darren:**Awww.

**Mr. Tiny:**Steve is dead. I can stop you from becoming Debbie Hemlock.

**Darren:**What?

**Mr. Tiny:**I mean Lord of the Shadows.

**Darren:**Okay. How?

**Mr. Tiny:**I will save your soul if you can guess what colour my wellies are.

**Darren:**Pink.

**Mr. Tiny:/Looks are his wellies/ **I guess I should have made you guess what colour my underwear is.

**Darren:**Purple. They're sticking out!

**Mr. Tiny:**You're to clever for my liking young, Shan.

**Darren:**I win!

**Mr. Tiny:**Fine. Just as long as the wind doesn't blow down south

**Darren:**Fine with me! **/Coughs in underpants(farts)/**

_The place looks like the one Darren and saw in _

_book 10... a desert, no trees, no people_

**Darren:**No fair. You didn't explain.

**Mr. Tiny:**Sure I did. It's not my fault that you let one off while your butt is facing south

**Darren:**Fine, fine;

**Mr. Tiny:**Now you have to go with destiny.

**Darren:**Where are we going?

**Mr. Tiny:**To Vanch March

**Darren:**Okay. /Holds knife over Vancha/

**Vancha:**Darren? What the hell are you doing?

**Darren:**Killing you. The prophesy and all...

**Vancha:**Oh yeah. I forgot you had to do that. Go right ahead. Night, night.

**Darren:**Sleep tight.

**Vancha:**I won't let the bed bugs bite.

**Mr. Tiny:**If they do take a shoe and bate them 'till they're black and blue!

**Vancha:**Get with the stabbing already!

z

z

z

**Do you like random stuff like this? Yes? No? Please review!**


End file.
